My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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