i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
