Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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