how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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