My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
