ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
