WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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