My room smells like vodka and shame
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize