She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
