I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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