I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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