you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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