Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
