do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
