I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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