"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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