____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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