I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize