thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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