No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
