Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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