Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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