cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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