You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
