dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
