oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
