You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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