Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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