is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
it was like eating out sand paper
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
