Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
