If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize