maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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