Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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