I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize