lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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