i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
