Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
