What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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