haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
