There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
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