Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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