I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
i think my cat just said my name.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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