Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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