Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
