I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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