it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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