look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
