No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
