Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Is Oprah even human
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
