I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
