Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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