Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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