I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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