is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize