So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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