If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
