hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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