OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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