well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize