The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
