my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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