After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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