HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Your penis caused this!
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