My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
