Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
