I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
