shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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