I'm gonna have a badass scar
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
