Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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