Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
