she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
