Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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