can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize