i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
