you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
