Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
