There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
