He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
