Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
