Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
