my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
