so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
